Tag: parenting

Checkered flag

kswemba

You’ve made it, it’s the end of the night! Congratulations! Confetti is being tossed, you’re getting the little ones up to bed for bath, teeth brushing and stories. You hear the roar of the crowd cheering you on with each step as you march up towards the bedtime routine. The end is in sight and you can almost feel yourself sinking into your couch to relax, and possibly even watch a show that doesn’t include cartoons! You can do this!

And that’s when it happens. It’s either because they’ve had a long day and don’t have the energy to behave and listen. Or, they really do want to stay up with you because they love you, and being around you that much. Or, as I’ve realized just recently, they just don’t want to listen. Well, isn’t that just awesome? No, no it is not. It’s so awful that right before bed things can fall apart. A time, where in my mind, should be spent lovingly cuddling my sweet children and reading them a story before they fall fast asleep.

Alas, it happens and instead of seeing the checkered flag, I start waving a white flag, surrendering to a less than peaceful end to my night. But tomorrow is another day, and another chance to get it right, or closer to right than the night before.

Let’s talk about stress baby

kswemba

We all have it, and we all want it to go away. But how can we decrease our stress level in an already demanding and overpacked scheduled? Some will say to remove certain things from your life. Well, if you’re like most of us, our stress comes from work, our family responsibilities, and daily tasks, which, are not removable. Others will say exercise, but if you are already overloaded, the idea of adding in one more thing just seems daunting. So the questions remains, WHAT CAN WE DO TO DECREASE OUR STRESS!?

I think what’s important is to find out that triggers an increase in your stress level that ISN’T one of the above stated responsibilities. For me, I tend to start getting a little worked up when my house is, shall we say, a disaster. To be more specific, every room seems to have been attacked by a mini tornado of stuff….clothes, toys, art projects, dishes, laundry etc. I then turn into a cleaning monster and do a full attack on the mess, but not in a graceful way. Something inside erupts and I find myself saying, “I can’t take it anymore!” Once everything is cleaned up, and organized into an acceptable fashion, I feel better. My trigger is clutter. Which means, I just need to stay on top of straightening and cleaning, oh mercy I’m already stressed about this task!

This will be a forever work in progress. Stress just doesn’t go away. It’s sneaky, and is like a chameleon, it can change and take many different forms. It can rise up at any time, which means we need to be ready to handle it at any moment. How do you do this, you ask? There are a few techniques to bring down a rise is stress. The first is controlled breathing. When you feel stress coming on, stop what you’re doing. Breathe in through your nose for 4-5 counts, and out through your mouth for 4-5 counts (like you’re blowing out a birthday candle). Do this a few times in a row. It will help decreases your heart rate, increase the oxygen to your brain and throughout your body. Deep breathing can be a tool to help you relax and can be done anywhere. If you need something more active, I recommend exercise. Sometimes just a good sweat session can be exactly what the doctor ordered. Another more fun option is to dance it out! Play your favorite song and sing and dance along! Blast the radio in the car, sing along, and move yourself to a better state of mind.

We all struggle with stress. Taking the first step to decrease it is the hardest, but keep at it!

Healthy School Routine

kswemba

Summer is a great time of year where kids can spend hours outside running free, playing and being little. We spend our summers at the pool, playing in the backyard, eating ice cream and going on bike rides. Our schedules are a little less packed, which gives some breathing room for extra time outside and later bedtimes which hopefully leads to sleeping in, but not always though.

Now, however, we’re back in school and my mind has switched gears to having a more set schedule. I strongly believe that our family needs routine and functions best when everybody knows what is expected of them. My children are in first grade and preschool, and I think it’s good to show them the balance of school work and play. For example, if my first grader comes home with a project, we need to get that done first before heading outside or to her sport’s practice. This seems like an easy and obvious thing, but for kids, all they want to do is play. If I make it a routine where we come home and get our necessary things done, they can feel a sense of accomplishment and then enjoy the reward of playing. I have a master degree in psychiatric nursing, and I can say that helping kids develop responsibility is a positive thing, as long as it’s being done in a gentle and kind way. It’s not easy, but if you stick to the routine, when they get older they’ll already have good study habits which will only help them to succeed in the future.

Stormy Sea of Parenting

kswemba

Self forgiveness is the hardest part of being a parent. I try to start each day with the right mindset – to be my best, kindest, most loving self. My feet hit my bedroom floor and as my morning sleepiness wears off, so does my patience. It hangs on through the first batch of “nos” and sibling disputes. But as the parental waters start to experience storm waves and sea squalls of disobedience, I find it harder and harder to navigate. To quote a friend, I’m “treading water” in a sea of uncertainty and the waves start to knock me down. Instead of being my best self, it’s every man (or woman, in this case) for themselves! My mantra meets the reality of time outs, cool downs in rooms and loss of privileges. Raising kids is hard! Some days are just harder than others, and if you’re a parent, you’ve been there and know what I mean. Bad days can really ruin our self image and parenting morale. The secret though, is forgiving yourself. This is also hard to do because if you’re like me, you have high expectations for yourself. But we must learn to be gentler and kinder to OURSELVES! So, if you’ve had one of those days, take a deep breathe and try to forgive yourself. Know that I’m right there with you, and will be back at sea tomorrow, hopefully better equipped to handle whatever weather finds me.