Children’s Grief Awareness Month

When sitting down to write about this very important topic, I hesitated. Where do I start? What should I focus on? There’s so many feelings that come with grief. And that’s when I knew, it’s important to acknowledge them all….starting with our own emotions and reactions.

To help children, we must first be honest with ourselves and how we feel. Without first exploring this, we can’t truly see any walls we may put up when it comes to helping children. We need to be honest with ourselves and take a look at the wave of emotions, thoughts, and realizations that we go through when someone we know dies. Seeing ourselves more clearly will allow us to enter into conversations with children who do not possess the coping mechanisms or ability to decipher their emotions.

Because when children lose someone they love, they need our support, our love, and our help. They need us to be honest with our word choices about death, but compassionate and gentle with our approach. No adult wants to have children experience grief, but it happens. Their tears and heart ache will trade places with anger, fear, loneliness, and perhaps even self blame at any moment.

It’s important to note that even though they are stages to grief, they do not go in any specific order. Once again, grief has no order. Grief hits unexpectedly, and the “stages” come and go, interchange, and jumble with however someone is feeling at that moment.

Every child is different with how they experience grief. The best thing we can do is to be present, support them, and love them.

All you need is love…..and a good dance partner

My husband and I recently went to a wedding and had a wonderful time! It was on a farm, in a barn, and was just kind of magical really. We got to see friends, family and witness the beautiful beginning of a new Mr. and Mrs. I look at my Mr. and am just amazed at how we’ve grown, both individually and together as a couple over the almost nine years of our marriage. Whew!

So here are a few things that I’ve learned:

1. I’m not always right! Oomphf, that one hurts to admit! (Maybe don’t tell my husband I said this one!) I don’t like to be wrong, and when I am, it’s really hard to admit it. I don’t always do it willingly either. But after some thinking, I can, eventually, apologize and see things in a different light.

2. That you need to laugh. Life can throw you some curves, and not always provide you with a warning sign before hand. We’ve found that laughing at how difficult, or completely absurd a situation is can actually make it better. Laugh and lessen the stress.

3. That you need a good dance partner, both literally and figuratively. Well, I LOVE to dance….at weddings, in my kitchen, my car, down the aisles of Target….you get the idea. Luckily for me, my husband is a great dancer and will entertain my need to be on the floor at weddings. More importantly though, is the need for your partner to dance through this life with you; to be with you when it’s easy and fun, to create memories, to celebrate accomplishments, to support one another through disappointments, and most importantly, have the love and understanding when times are difficult.

Those are just a few thoughts I had after the wedding weekend. I hope this finds you all well, and that you have a great start to your week.