Tag: grief

Children’s Grief Awareness Month

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When sitting down to write about this very important topic, I hesitated. Where do I start? What should I focus on? There’s so many feelings that come with grief. And that’s when I knew, it’s important to acknowledge them all….starting with our own emotions and reactions.

To help children, we must first be honest with ourselves and how we feel. Without first exploring this, we can’t truly see any walls we may put up when it comes to helping children. We need to be honest with ourselves and take a look at the wave of emotions, thoughts, and realizations that we go through when someone we know dies. Seeing ourselves more clearly will allow us to enter into conversations with children who do not possess the coping mechanisms or ability to decipher their emotions.

Because when children lose someone they love, they need our support, our love, and our help. They need us to be honest with our word choices about death, but compassionate and gentle with our approach. No adult wants to have children experience grief, but it happens. Their tears and heart ache will trade places with anger, fear, loneliness, and perhaps even self blame at any moment.

It’s important to note that even though they are stages to grief, they do not go in any specific order. Once again, grief has no order. Grief hits unexpectedly, and the “stages” come and go, interchange, and jumble with however someone is feeling at that moment.

Every child is different with how they experience grief. The best thing we can do is to be present, support them, and love them.

The Grief In My Heart

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In the quiet times, when I least expect, it finds me.

It tugs and pulls, and climbs up to the surface – gasping to come out.

It’s grief – and its different for each of us…but it’s there.

This year has been hard for everyone. Some of us have lost someone we love. Some of us haven’t been able to hug those that are still here. And all of us have struggled at some point with isolation, routine, and trying to stay positive for those around us.

But it’s hard! And in those quiet moments when I sit in silence, an unexpected companion shows up. And I let myself FEEL all that I’ve worked so hard to ignore this past year. And with a deep exhale, I cry. Because life is so different. But it’s OKAY to cry – to mourn how things were, what I miss, and what I’ve lost. I’m writing all of this to let everyone know it’s okay to cry. To let yourselves feel isn’t being weak – it’s being in tune with your emotions. It’s letting out what’s been hiding for a while. And maybe once it’s out, you can take a cleansing breath, and begin the day again. I hope that you can.

The Phone Booth in Mr. Hirosta’s Garden by: Heather Smith and Rachel Wada

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Themes: grief, loss, love, healing

Publication: 2019

Age group: it’s a picture book but I feel it could work for grade school aged kids because of the topic

This is a beautiful story based on real life events. The story follows Maiko, a young boy, and his neighbor, Mr. Hirota. One day, a tsunami washes away the loved ones in Maiko’s village. The entire community is shadowed in sadness. Wanting to talk to his daughter again, Mr. Hirota builds a telephone booth and places an unconnected phone inside. He sits in the phone booth and talks to his daughter, hoping his words are carried to her by the wind. Soon, others visit the booth to talk to their loved ones. Eventually, Maiko talks to his father and begins the process of grieving and healing.

This story touches my heart. I think it’s a great example of how a void is created when we lose people we love. Mr. Hirota’s phone booth allows the villagers to stay connected to those they’ve lost. It doesn’t quickly solve the pain and sadness the villagers feel, but gives them an opportunity to start the healing process. When Maiko does talk to his dad, he tells him he misses him. I think this can show children that it’s okay to say you miss the person you’ve lost.

I recommend this read and hope you’ll give it a chance.

Grief and Loss: When you miss someone…

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I started off today thinking I was going to write about Fall finally arriving. I sat outside on my patio, felt the cool breeze, looked up to the sky and felt the warm sun on my face. I closed my eyes, with my face tilted to the sky….and that’s when it happened.

My Grandpa used to sit like that. He loved feeling the sun on his face. He’d sit in his chair outside and say, “Oh, it feels good,” and a smile would spread across his face.

My Grandpa passed away from a very quick battle against pancreatic cancer 10 years ago. He was diagnosed late, and within 3 months he was gone. His cancer progressed rapidly, and his physical abilities decreased just as fast. He was confined to a bed, but my Grandma was his angel, he said so himself.

Missing someone is a strange thing. I’ve grieved, it’s been plenty of time, and then boom, out of the blue I find myself tearing up and talking to him, telling him I love him and miss him. We had a special bond; both my parents worked and my grandparents were there for us after school, for sports, for everything. Our family changed when he died, and I am forever grateful for all of the love he showed me.

Is there someone that you miss? Do they ever enter your mind randomly and unexpectedly? I’d love to hear from anyone who wants to share. If not, know that missing someone also helps your remember how wonderful they were. Til next time….