Tag: Emotions

Today, I started crying

kswemba

This is the first time I’ve posted anything since February. COVID hit, changed all of our lives, and I just couldn’t bring myself to talk here. I held my cards to my chest, steeled my core and kept a schedule for my kids to keep life for them as normal as possible.

I did tear up a few times but tried to keep it together. I needed to have it together so I could be their teacher everyday, their mom, their friend, their opponent at cards (which they seriously beat me at UNO all the time) and their buddy. With all of this, I had to block out the outside world. Anytime I would read the news, I was reminded how fortunate we’ve been that our family was healthy and safe. COVID has brought such devastation to so many lives and I can’t even truly grasp it’s horrible actions.

Tears.

My 7 year old have their last virtual meeting with their class. Their wonderful teacher put together a slide show that played Jason Mraz “Have it All” in the background and I cried. I cried because of the lyrics, because of the fact that my kids didn’t get to have class in school with their friends and their teachers. I cried that this virus has ROBBED so many of graduations, proms, final seasons of sports. I can’t imagine not having the last few months of my senior year be at school. Heartbreaking. I cried for those who have lost their lives, for families that have been torn apart. I cried for those who died without family around them, and for the families who haven’t been able to have a proper burial.

Healing.

All of this does not sit well with me. Now that I am letting myself feel, the tears come more freely. How do we pick up? Start over or start again? How do we heal? One day at a time. It’s hard to move past something that still has a firm grasp on our lives. I can only pray for the medical profession, the scientists, doctors nurses and all hospital staff. May they develop a vaccine, get the care THEY need and deserve.

I am thinking of everyone today. And hope, hope that healing is just around the corner.

How to take bad news

kswemba

Sometimes we’re told something that’s bad and unexpected. I realize that I go into “containment” nurse mode, which basically means I instantly figure out how bad the “bad” is and see the upside. I dive into research and figure out the cause if it’s medical, what’s being done, what can be done, and focus on that instead of the feeling. Why? Because the feeling is hard to deal with.

Reality doesn’t set in til later, and that’s when the tearful emotion of sadness begins. No longer thinking, but feeling the emotions that I initially didn’t give a chance to surface. Letting ourselves feel is hard! But it’s also part of being human. Sometimes having a good cry can get us more in touch with our feelings. The positive side is now that the floodgate of emotion is open, maybe we can tap into the loving, caring side more. We can offer support to others, or extend an offer to help out whatever way we can.

Have you ever been told bad news about someone? How did you take it?

I wish everyone well!